Extra Evil - Werewolf Christmas

Today's Fortune: Give your bucket list some gusto.

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Newsreel

The loud part got louder.

Alan Moore hit close to home.

Blinken tried to finish his senior thesis in a weekend.

Your landlord, bus driver, and dog made endorsements.

McDonald’s killed people another way.

NASA supports having a planet to land on.

Today's Mood

War Journal

What’s on your mind? The festival of human darkness, or Halloween?

I’m still in Ireland for reasons. Every conversation tiptoes to the election. And every silence. I’ve played involuntary pundit in airports, bus stops, bars, tourist traps, delis, sidewalks, and empty closets. There’s no end in sight. Until I fly away or the empire collapses, I’m an unpaid talking head.

It’d help if I could blend in. But beyond obvious visual cues (Mets hat, thousand-yard stare, negritude), I don’t have the acting chops to hide the cheeseburger in my voice. At the wedding reception, one kind soul simply asked if I’m okay. I lied.

Weeaboo Hell’s Patreon archive took longer to build than the show. They might want to tweak that.

Halloween’s nice, but light luggage is nicer. My costume is “Jet Lag Victim.”

That’s pure fiction: thanks to my stupid schedule, a four-hour jump puts me right in sync with the locals. It’s nice seeing sunrises from the right end. I might start painting them, like a tryhard Bob Ross.

Besides, glancing at this wedding suit, I just need two dabs of face paint for a decent Harvey Dent costume. Bang. Or anti-bang, if it’s tails.

Man, imagine having your whole future ride on a coin flip. Your stability, sanity, safety, and sobriety bet on a fifty-fifty split. Couldn’t be me.

The Present

• Preorders are the new sales. Save me. [Preorder my book]

• Dandadan is a crazy comic about enjoying high school. [Weeaboo Hell]

• Dr. Anthony King has nothing to teach you about love. [1900HOTDOG]

• A hundred more episodes of cursing at cartoons begin. [Weeaboo Hell]

• Enjoy your free clone. [Exclusive Evil]

• Everything Abridged fights for you. [My Other Book]

The Past

My (third or so) riff on antivax lunacy. These were incredibly fun to make, and hell to put up.

The Future

The next Hotdog column’s a fun curveball, and the next Weeaboo Hell review crackles. I lobbed some pitches elsewhere, but who knows what’ll land. Thanks for keeping up with the clown show.

Not Brought to You By

The Dreamcast! Much of the future started here, so it went wood. But how were the ads? You can probably guess, given all the Sony logos today, but let’s play dumb.

This line is so close to making sense. I want to give it points for the mental double take, and frustrated furrow of the brow. But even the near-idea is stale, so into the trash it goes.

Creativity: F+ | Persuasion: D- | Sanity: D-

Games cost money. Magazines slots cost money. What the fuck are you doing? This is a Heath Ledger bonfire. Lock in. You published a difficulty pun for a game with hand-drawn backgrounds.

Creativity: D- | Persuasion: F | Sanity: D-

(Left panel: This is the heart. Right panel: This is the soul.)

This Soul Calibur ad feels like a statement for the console itself.

I ramble about ideas and formats and all that. But it’s enough to just get the material. This taps what a pure fighter on the nerd’s choice console means to the audience. And looks neat.

Creativity: B+ | Persuasion: A | Sanity: B

One Sentence Reviews

Wedding Drunks: Nature’s most beautiful creature. (4/5)

Wedding Arguments: A touch repetitive. (2/5)

Wedding Fights: Sloppy technique. (3/5)

Candy - Flipping EP: Screaming is fun. (4/5)

Tyler, The Creator - CHROMAKOPIA: We’ve come a long way from “Transylvania.” (3.5/5)

Kindergarten Wars: Pringles. (3/5)

Easy Question

Harder Question

Signing off

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